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In your book "You Have
Chosen to Remember," you write about how this reality we are experiencing is
more like a mix between reality and the dream state, than a fully real world.
Can you please expound on, and clarify that thought a bit more. I found it
interesting. Thank you.
See
Response
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Anonymous, USA
It seems that the world is
in a precarious place, and that the amount of fear, anger, hate, lies and
negativity has been increasing. At times, I find the chaos and upside down
nature of our society overwhelming. Do you have any suggestions for transcending
the negativity, challenges and illusions of our society, factoring in this
seemingly very chaotic time? What is the optimal course of action that a person
can take?
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Response
- Jennifer, USA
Right now,
I am unemployed and trying not to get evicted. It seems like the harder I pray,
the more doors are closing in my face. I think maybe it is the family drama, and
am I holding on to unforgiveness and blocking my blessings. So I decided to text
my sister and ask for forgiveness and to tell her I forgive her. I googled
forgiveness and found this site. I was blessed by this article and I will send
in a donation when I get back on my feet. I have five older sisters and they all
need to read this article and the book. I would like your permission to copy
this article and share it with them. They are holding onto some grudges much
stronger than I am against the sister that started this. Pray for my family -
six sisters, two brothers and an 86 year old loving mom with Alzheimer's who
needs her family to be whole not divided. Thank you for your kindness.
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Brenda, Tennessee, USA
I have read your
book "You Have Chosen To Remember" and did find it inspirational. I
sometimes return to it when I feel lost. I know what you say is right,
but sometimes I wonder if perhaps I am just not doing something right as
I used to know that God was listening but recently this feeling has
gone. Do you think that God ever turns his back? Do you think that a
person can ask too many times for help with the mundane?
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Response
- Jo, North Yorkshire, England
I have been
suffering with debilitating panic attacks for 2 years. Crazy medication
and a life running downhill. I am out of work and absolutely desperate
for a higher understanding and release from this terrible affliction.
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Juliet, Guildford, England
I’m passing through a very difficult time in my life
and maybe your experience in coaching may help me. I’m in a moment where
nothing is easy. I’m not happy with work and my love life is not going
well. After a difficult divorce and other relations that have not worked
out, I had thought I had finally found stability. I’m in a relationship
of a year and a half, but lately it has not been working and that has me
very depressed because it would be yet another failure and also I love
him very much. I feel so bad that I have not been to work in two days.
The only thing I feel is that I want to leave this place, leave
everything and start anew. I’m a US citizen; I was born there, and I
want to look at the option of going to live in the US and find work and
start from zero. I have a good work resume, but I don’t know if now is
the time with the economic crisis if it's easy to find work there.
Please, I need your advice to know what to do. Sorry to involve you in
something that you have nothing to do with but I feel bad.
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Response
- Anonymous
I have been the
one who has held onto a hurtful conversation and now I have refused to
forgive my mother-in-law.
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Response
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Kathy, Texas
I'm lost...I'm a
total failure in my life...I don't even know where to start...I know I
have done something wrong and that is why I'm being punished. After 2
short marriages, I was heart broken. I had only lived with my first ex
husband for 6 months. He was controlling and abusive so I left him. I
got remarried, and got divorced after 4 weeks of marriage. He was too
very controlling, abusive and demanding. I was left once again alone.
This current relationship is a married friend. He showed lots of
support! He approached me for a relationship. I don't know why, but I
gave in. Initially it was all rosy and beautiful. Slowly it got more one
sided. Seemed he did not need me, and I became more dependent on him. I
lived my life independently for 8 years before that. Initially, it felt
good to have someone take care of my stuff and not worry about it. Big
mistake! I wanted out. He would not allow me to do so....
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Anonymous
When I was 3 my dad died.
I am now 16. I don’t remember my dad but growing up I always had my
uncle there (my dad’s brother) and he was like a father figure to me. We
were so close he meant everything to me. But last year in May, he
committed suicide and he never said goodbye to me or even sent me a
text. I just want to know why he did this and never said bye to me. It
makes me think bad things and I just need to know why he did this and
what was he thinking to leave me alone when he knows how much I loved
him and how much he meant to me. Please give me some answers.
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Response
- Rachel, Birmingham, United Kingdom
Hello, my name is
Katherine and I am 14. I very much wonder if there is more to life than
what I am seeing lately. I have been thinking differently than usual. I
am starting to recognize what life itself is all about, but I am still
not entirely sure. I was wondering if you could give me a few tips on
how to fulfill it to my full ability.
Thanks mate.
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Katherine, London, England
I
have
read parts of your website with great
interest and completely agree that the need for your mind to take
control of itself and not be ruled by learned and negative behaviors is
the way forward. What I would like to find out is that although we need
to live in the now, in business and work we need to plan things out in
our minds and use past experiences to shape our future dealings, and I
think this is also necessary to some extent on a personal level or we
never learn anything. How can you suggest that we do this with
positivity and not around our negative ego-based mindset?
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John, United Kingdom
I am a 48 year old woman, who although is not new to the
twelve step recovery program, has found myself remaining "stuck" in a
place in my mind that has not allowed me to move forward. I found this
site this morning. By no means do I do believe it to be an accident. My
question is this: What short meditation or phrase might you recommend to
say upon awakening each day, in order to retrain the thought process
toward a more positive day and fulfilling life, and to stay in the
present moment and release the past?
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Kathy, New Orleans, Louisiana, USA
I
have been trying to live in the present, but my thoughts wander either
to the past and past hurts or to the future where a multitude of “what
ifs” stand before me. I want to embrace the joy of the day, to see good
things in what I am doing - now. How do I keep myself grounded in the
moment? I am missing many moments thinking about the future or past. I
have been through a mentally abusive marriage and made it. I have lost
loved ones and loved pets. I have lost security of my home and money. I
know that these lessons have made me stronger, but some days I don't
feel strong. Some days I feel sad and defeated. How do I move on to
embrace life again?
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Shelley, Ontario, Canada
Two years ago, my fiancé cheated on me. He told me about
it, told me he was sorry and would do whatever it takes to make it
right. He has tried, I will give him that. But for some reason, I just
won't let it go. I do not know how. All I have done since that day is
put him down and throw every single little thing he has done wrong in
his face. I find fault in everything he says and does. I guess in a
sense, one could say I am trying to hurt him like he hurt me. I grew up
in a Christian family, but I have not always lived that life. I feel as
if I am lost and do not know where to go from here. I do not want to
lose him, because honestly he is a great person. I know God has a plan
for everyone, and everything happens for a reason. How do you forgive
someone? How do you just let go of the anger and move on? I need to know
and I have prayed and prayed. How do we move on and forget what has been
done to us? I know Jesus did, and I wish I was that strong. I told my
fiancé that I did forgive him, but I really haven't. I don't like lying.
I need to forgive him.
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Response
- Nikki,
Kentucky,
USA
I am a 28 year old
woman, single and lonely, not because I have no one close in this
country, but because I feel so lost from the inside. I am a hard working
lady who takes care of her family back home in Zimbabwe and I am working
all the time. I have friends but I don’t get time to see them as I work
all the time. I hurt the people that love me, and the decisions I make
in life about other people end up hurting me a lot. I feel sorry for
myself and all I am asking for is to understand myself and maybe stop
hurting myself. On the outside, people think I am strong but I know I am
not. I have so many responsibilities that I need to keep going. I have a
family back home - parents and my daughter who is seven years old.
Sometimes I feel tired and want to give up, but how can I because I
still need to keep these people going that look up to me? Help.
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Response
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Sibongile, England
I'm just finishing “You Have Chosen to Remember.” It is a
great read - very simple to understand, lots of great tips. I've been
reading “A Course in Miracles” for about 2 years. I'm getting there with
it. I have a question about choosing our parents before we are born.
Mine were a bit abusive. Was I supposed to learn how to forgive and that
is why I chose them? I also married twice and both wives were abusive. I
have completely forgiven all with no reservations, but this lesson stuff
is a new thought process for me - but I find it very interesting. Can
you recommend any other books on the lesson stuff that goes into more
details? I have read the “Disappearance of the Universe,” a lot of Wayne
Dyer, Eckardt Tolle, etc. I'm trying to move away from my ego-self but
on a more continuous level. Right now, I'm up and down with this stuff.
I'm purchasing a few more copies of your book for friends. I've started
a few friends on a new journey with this stuff with really positive
results. I was living in Florida for
many years, had a couple of strokes at age 45, and I'm back in Jersey.
But because of it all, I found out about forgiveness quicker than I
probably would have, if at all. So your book was greatly enjoyed and is
now home in my collection. I wish you great success and peace in all you
do. Thank you.
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Dan, New Jersey, USA
Sir, I thank you for the book “You Have Chosen to Remember.” I have been
really blessed. However, the bible says that it is appointed unto man to
die but once and after that judgment, how then can we reconcile this
with your lessons on reincarnation?
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Response
- Aderemi,
Nigeria
My father passed away in May, and I am adrift from my siblings
due to family conflict. My father suffered post-op complications and did not
want life support. I told my sister we cannot blame the hospital if no one was
with him 4 days prior to his cardiac arrest for his wish not to be on life
support. Consequently, he was on life support 10 days before he passed away. I
am having a very hard time with this situation. But at this time suffering with
grief and hurt, I feel the need to distance myself from the family so I can find
myself without them controlling me.
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Response
- Pamela, Virginia,
USA
I am reading your writings from your web site. I am very impressed.
I thought I had failed at my 2nd
marriage. This is what I have been misperceiving and so I have been
mentally beating myself up for no reason.
I have felt embarrassed and ashamed in
society due to this 2nd divorce and have lost my inner peace. Help me!
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Response
- Name withheld upon request, USA
I feel jealous and angry with everyone, I feel like a
failure in life although I have an average life. I feel inferior to most
people, constantly feel negative and only want to feel confident and at
peace with myself. See
Response
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Lorraine,
Ireland
We have a serious rift within our family that we are at a loss to know
how to heal. My son and daughter-in-law have totally rebuffed us and it
is painful. This is the third time and has gone on the longest (3
years). They have 2 children whom we are never allowed to see or speak
to on the phone even. He is in the army and we have found out they now
live in Germany. Whenever we send the children money at Christmas and
birthdays the cheques are cashed and no letter or phone call of thank
you are given.
It appears that our daughter-in-law cannot forgive us for not wanting
them to get engaged (they were 15 and 17 years old) at the time and
later were not for them getting married at 17 and 19 years old, because
we thought they were too young and he was away for long periods of time
in the army. We wanted them to wait a couple of years before doing so.
She cannot let those events go and is frankly unsociable with us. Our
son tried to keep in contact, but has given up since the children were
born.
We
would like a relationship with them, but they do not answer our phone
calls or letters. They neither send Christmas or birthday cards to any
of our family. He has completely cut himself off from us all.
Should we take the hint and let them go or is there another approach we
can adopt? This is the most painful experience so far in our lives.
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Response
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A. and D., England
In working on releasing judgment, an ongoing process for me at
this time, I am currently aware that I tend to be accepting of people as
individuals, in general. However, my judgment about systems currently in place
is often great. I work as a clinician in a mental health clinic and find
individual psychotherapy to be my rewarding purpose. But the obstacles presented
by systems which are focused on paperwork details and oriented to ruling people
out rather than helping them makes me frustrated. I find myself complaining
along with my colleagues in a manner that my wiser self knows is error. I know
that I am just resisting releasing the blockages, but wonder if there is any
difference between judgment about systems rather than people?
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Response
- Linda, Washington, USA
I am a very
confused girl. I am in 8th standard. I have many choices but I don't
know which one to choose. I am good at tennis. I have even been chosen
for tournament. But I want to join NCC. All my parents, teachers and
friends are confusing me. And this always happens with me. I am not even
sure what I will become in the future. Now what should I do?
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Radhika, Chhattisgarh, India
I
am a student of A Course In Miracles. Everything that I have read
on your web site is similar to this course. Just wondering if you to
might be a student. If not, what have you been studying ?
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Barbara, San Juan Capistrano, CA
I was looking for the story about your dog and how she appeared to you after her
death. I wanted to share it with my daughter. She is having her dog of 14
years put to sleep today. He has been suffering with congested heart failure.
Your story would give her comfort at this time.
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Response
- Pat, Norwich, NY
I have been looking
for an answer to this problem and maybe you can help. I am married and
have two young children. My wife is the type of person who yells a lot.
Raising her voice almost constantly to correct the children. I have
grown to dislike her, mostly from the way she treats the kids. I have
learned to let my ego go and care little about how she treats me, but I
do care about how her mean, nasty reactions are affecting my kids. Even
if divorce was an option for me, it likely wouldn't keep her from the
children. I have tried many times and many ways to get her to just show
the love she has in her, instead. Somehow, no matter how positive the
results are she diverts back at the first sign of the kids not
listening. Is there another way?
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Christopher, New Jersey, USA
My question is
this, if God is so close, why is God so hard to find?
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Response
- Bernadette, England
You refer to assisting lost souls who don't know that they are dead
finding their way. Are there also lost souls here? How, then, if
every moment is perfect and meant to be, can this be? I have been
struggling for the past 8 months to find God. Some days, I feel
hopeless. Is this meant to be or am I an aberration. How to solve
this? I always believed God would contact me on his own or it would
happen when I died. I never realized you could have more while alive.
With your book, however, I have achieved more peace than I ever believed
possible and want to thank you for that. You definitely followed a
calling, dude! How can I follow mine?
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Sherry, Michigan, USA
I have wanted a
divorce for many years. I filed last year and she said she didn't want
to, she wanted me, and me only. I did not go thru with it. I resolved to
make a decision by Jan. '06. However, as I read your book and started to
think of love and forgiveness I was torn on whether to leave or not. My
wife’s sister married in Dec. and it seemed to renew my wife’s effort to
treat me with respect...??? At the same time I met a woman who has
captivated me...I thought I didn't want any complications. Is staying
and trying again the highest good?
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Anonymous, Oklahoma, USA
I'm in a long term
relationship and I feel like I messed it up by not treating my boyfriend well.
I didn't treat him badly (abusive physically or mentally), I was just neglectful
because I'm a busy person and didn't spend much time with him. He told me he is
not happy with me because of this (can't blame him one bit), but he loves me and
would like to work on the relationship. I've been working on the issues, but I
just get the feeling from him that he's going to be noncompliant and
unappreciative of my efforts and things aren't going to work out. If I had
treated him better in the first place it may not have ended up like this. Now I
feel guilty because God gave me the person I have been waiting for all my life
and I messed it all up by taking my own path by tending to my needs instead of
the path God made for me to be with him and tending to his needs as well. If we
break up I will have to live with the guilt and feel really bad for a long time
and have it haunt me for the rest of my life. How would you interpret my
situation and what do you think? See
Response
- Christa, Delaware, USA
I am still bitter and angry over an argument that happened in 2003
between me and my adult nephew who drove me out of his mother's house. I
even cursed him for rendering me homeless and depressed. But with God's
grace I found a crisis centre shelter where I lived for a few months.
While I was there, found a job and eventually made enough money to get a
place of my own. In the process I made many new friends, experienced
different things and am more sympathetic to people in need. In a way,
being driven out of his house was a blessing. I am a more independent
person than before. But how do I get rid of this anger and bitterness
that I feel towards my nephew?
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Tina, Singapore
My partner's
adolescent child has been very disrespectful from the beginning of this
relationship. She has done everything to break us up - even to the last
event of physically assaulting me. I have forgiven and been very
patient up to this point but am struggling to forgive this, as well as
the father who does not take charge of the situation. Just when I think
I have forgiven and let it go, my anger surfaces to my partner and then
I know I still have not forgiven. See
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Dawn D.
For 20 years I have
been attempting to change my horrendous outlook, and subsequent judgment
of everything. I blamed religion as the cause, in my childhood, of my
anger and pain. I could not hear the words God or Jesus without
triggering negativity. You speak of my Godself. I have been trying to
meditate to connect with the Life-Force, the Creator. I can still only
use tapes and CDs for that purpose. I want to get silent, go into the
stillness, experience the peace I crave; but my mind, due to the
controlling ego, makes it very difficult. What would you suggest.
Besides perseverance? Is there another form of prayer that is not
simply asking for greater consideration? I do not know how else to put
this but I am frustrated and need help not to give up. Deservability
plays a big role. I thank you for your book, which I will buy next
payday.
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Response
- Stephen, Coos Bay, Oregon, USA
I have a 7 year old
son with a man who passed away 2 years ago. While we were together he
was extremely abusive, not as much physical as emotional, and to try to
move on, I had to turn myself off inside. I found a lot of things out
after he passed away that made me angry and hurt. It has been 2 years
and I am having a hard time getting my life back. How do you forgive
someone who isn’t there, and how do you get yourself back? Also, thank
you for recommending the other books.
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Heidi, Massachusetts, USA
Almost seven years ago, I made a mistake that has haunted me day in and day out.
Each and every day that goes by, I torture myself. I have been presented with a
wonderful opportunity to move forward in my career but constantly hold myself
back because I am ashamed of my past and can not find it in me to forgive
myself. I know I'm a loving person and would have made different choices had I
known what I know now. I am always the first to forgive anyone who hurts me, but
as far as self-forgiveness it’s been almost impossible. How can I stop punishing
myself? Where do I find the strength to hold my head up and stop being ashamed
for being human?
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Heidi P., USA
I lost my job today. Since I have a family with young children the
uncertainty about the future is unsettling. We are also in debt up to
our eyeballs. I take full responsibility for this and I will work hard
to make it right. My question is: how can I bring peace of mind to my
family?
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Michael, Fenton, MI, USA
I need to forgive my husband for two years of hell,
abuse and I am not sure if I can find a way to love him freely. He is an
atheist and I think that by going on a spiritual journey together we
could find some peace. We have not slept properly without medication for
over two years since the birth of my son and I had postnatal depression.
The ins and outs of the story are complex and I am not sure how to deal
with the hurt, anger and pain. Please help.
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- Sarah,
Bath, England
How
can I forgive someone who said such terrible words to me?
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Judy, Binghamton, NY, USA
I committed
adultery, now 2 years past & my husband is doing it with a married lady.
He blames me. He said if I had never done it, this wouldn't be
happening. He says that he and the lady are going to get married when he
divorces me and she divorces her husband. It's been one year & 2 months.
What can I do? I'm trying to wait on the Lord. My husband doesn't care
if me and the kids end up in the street. He spends all his money on
her. See
Response
- Y. V., Philadelphia, PA, USA
I have had a
horrible life since I was born. I think I was born to suffer in every
way possible. I think my mom didn’t want us kids. She was never around
and rarely did we have a babysitter or food. When we did have a
babysitter it was ones who were drunks, who molested us and worse. I
started taking care of 3 sisters and 1 brother by myself at age 7 -10
until the welfare took us all away in 1970 when I was 10. I have 2
sisters and a brother, I have not seen for 35 yrs now. Somehow I ended
back with my mother when I was 13, only to find out she was pregnant and
needed a babysitter again not because she wanted me. But I still loved
her no matter what. But I had to get away from her so I married an
alcoholic husband who beat me for 6 yrs. I finally left him because of
my 3 beautiful girls we had. There’s a lot more, but long story short my
2 oldest daughters inherited bipolar from their father. My mother was
murdered in 1993 by her husband who did not go to jail. My oldest
daughter went to prison in 2002 and is still there. My 25 yr old
daughter was killed by a drunk driver 9-18-03 who never went to jail
because he is a cop. God hates me. He really does and I don’t know why.
I need help. I’ve had custody of 3 of my grandbabies since they were
born and they’re bipolar. I love them so much if anything happened to
them I would die. Please tell me why god hates me?? Thank you.
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Marla B.
Can you tell me what it is when you are in bed and feel as though you
are awake but something is holding the covers down so that you cannot
get up and when you try to scream it as though you are paralyzed.
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Brenda, Glasgow, Scotland, UK
If I am constantly
giving to people who are lonely, afraid, mean, less financially and need
help but for years have experienced the one's I give money to break in
and steal more; the one's I help with loneliness (bring them to events,
introduce them to others) then take advantage, wear you out. You wrote
when 'you experience loneliness, give to someone lonely. Give love when
you are not experiencing it.' If you are truly giving and giving, isn't
there something that I am doing wrong for this to be happening so
often?When you are kind to someone who is mean and then they become
violent and then they harass and stalk you, and you give more kindness
and they become dangerous (think Amber Frey and Scott Peterson). How
can I keep helping these souls that cry and need love so much without
physically getting hurt? Turning away and ignoring their calls even as
I pray for them, to keep hearing their anguish seems so cruel to ignore.
Constantly, I pray and thank God for the gift that he has sent. I
acknowledge that there is a lesson. I know God does not tell us to
unlock our doors and let others in to harm us, but when they are so
desperately needing help and they keep calling and calling, begging for
a friendship then as soon as you try again, it becomes physically
dangerous, it does seem that I must be dong something wrong.
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Sara, Florida, USA
I have OCD. There is evidence this is caused by a biochemical imbalance in
the orbital frontal cortex and caudate and putamen sections of the brain. I lack peace of mind due to repetitive and intrusive thoughts caused by
this problem in my brain. I lack the peace and confidence I know are
within me because of it. I am wondering how someone like you would suggest
feeling joyful, happy and at peace when a problem like this blocks that.
Or even if someone suffers from another physical ailment? Thanks.
See
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- Anonymous
In
your experience / opinion is a show of inflated EGO actually a way to
cover the personal extreme inferiority complex?
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Bashir, London, England
I was moved when reading some of your work. I have a belief that
everyone has the capacity to love themselves and others, and I am always
overwhelmed with emotion when individuals express this. But at the
same time it hurts when people don't - through criticism, hate and malice.
How can I change my reaction so that I am not so fearful of other's
negativity, as this has paralyzed me in the past and paralyzes me in
present.
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Jacqueline, Bolton, England
I am a 48 year old
woman. My life is in turmoil, facing a divorce I do not want. Facing
regret over many horrible mistakes I made. I am filled with fears and
sadness. I feel desperate and do not want to lose my husband.
I must face reality and am making a huge effort to place my faith in God
and my Christian beliefs. I decided to go on the internet this
morning desperately looking for something to help me develop strength and
courage. Will this book help me develop faith in God and calm my
fears regardless of my life circumstances? Thank you.
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Roseanne G.
I am a professional young female with many things going for me. Yet many
times, in my interactions with others, somehow
it feels empty when you suspect that people don't care to see what's
beyond the surface. How can I find fulfillment and peace in these
interactions?
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Mecky, Miami,
FL, USA
Have
you always been so spiritual or was there one particular moment
which made you more aware of that side?
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Abigale, Albuquerque, NM, USA
What does it mean when you dream about rain all the time?
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Brittney M., USA
Any workshops or live-in communities where one may go and sincerely focus
on becoming our Godself?
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Mario, San
Antonio, TX, USA
Can
you meet someone, look into their eye's and feel like soul mates right
away?
Does
it happen once in a lifetime or can it be many times? How many soul mates
can we have?
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Dina, Brooklyn, NY, USA
I
am a Christian and I study with a Christian group that says that I am too
analytical at times. I sometimes ask questions that brings me closer to
understanding God’s word. Is this a bad thing?
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David, Jacksonville, FL, USA
I
am currently reading chapter 6 of your book and find myself questioning my
desire for new employment. How does one know if seeking new employment is
Trusting God? Could God be giving one the desire to change jobs? Reading
this chapter has me questioning my motives. What advice can you give on
this?
See
Response
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L.C., Upstate, NY, USA
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