Ask the Author: Question & Response
I have wanted a divorce for many years. I filed last year and my wife said she didn’t want to, she wanted me, and me only. I did not go through with it. I resolved to make a decision by January. However, as I read your book and started to think of love and forgiveness, I was torn on whether to leave or not. My wife’s sister married in December, and it seemed to renew my wife’s effort to treat me with respect. At the same time, I met a woman who has captivated me… I thought I didn’t want any complications. Is staying and trying again for the highest good?
– Anonymous, Oklahoma, USA
God’s will and your highest will are one. There is no difference. God’s will for your life is your highest will for your life. God’s will manifests itself when you’re experiencing peace of mind, joy, love and self-love. Make peace of mind and joy your goals. Then allow your external environment to reshape itself to support this effort. This is your highest good – allowing the expression of God to flow through you and into the world. The wisdom, peace of mind, respect and joy you seek are already within you.
The ego will try to convince you that you need person A instead of person B to find peace of mind, respect and joy. After the allure of person B passes, the ego will try to convince you that person C might be better suited for you than person B. So on and on its game goes, always promising an external solution to your internal dreams and desires. My friend, as much as the ego has promised you that the treasure map is real, the treasure you are searching for is not external.
It is not respect from another that you are searching for, it is your own self-respect that is asking you to stand, awaken and be counted. What you are doing is trying to remind yourself that you are worthy enough to be treated respectfully.
I am not here to discuss whether person A, B or C is better for you. For that is the drama, the complication the ego would like to get you involved with. Put aside the ego’s insane rituals for a moment, and realize what your heart and soul are trying to awaken within you. God thought, and from that thought you were created. You are the physical manifestation of God’s thought on this planet. You are worthy of respect! When you truly remember this, you will not be supportive of a disrespectful relationship, of being disrespected in any way, or of being disrespectful to any person on this planet.
My friend, your external environment reflects the beliefs that you hold about yourself. Currently, on some level, you believe there are times when people can be disrespectful to you, and thus you are experiencing the physical manifestation of your belief. If you continue to support this belief, persons A, B and C will simply turn out to be different physical manifestations of this same belief, basically the same type of individual in three different bodies. This is one reason why I mention that right now, it does not matter if you choose person A, B or C. Sooner or later, they would all disrespect you because you are allowing such an energy into your life. Once you remember who you truly are, you will no longer allow this into your life. You will set clear boundaries and begin to attract respectful people.
Right now, it does not matter if you stay and try, or leave, because you will still be taking the belief that you are not worthy of respect with you. This is why you are asked to work on yourself first. Understand that everyone and everything you have in your life is a blessing. In this case, you could say that your wife is awakening the realization that you are worthy of being respected. If she can awaken this within you, would you not be grateful for that lesson and for her participation in the lesson plan?
The ego would have you call your wife’s behavior disrespectful and insist you judge her for it. So you would judge and judge until got so tired of judging that you would look for another way. The ego understands that your tolerance for pain and disrespect is high, but it is not without limit. So, as a final effort, the ego would have you forgive your wife. “You’re the bigger person,” the ego says, “go ahead, forgive her.” Forgiveness is a tool that is needed in the world of illusion. For in such a world, forgiveness is a very useful tool for obtaining peace. But if you truly understood that everything and everyone God offers you is a gift, you would realize that your wife is really awakening the memory within you that you are worthy of experiencing a respectful relationship and life. Would you need to forgive her for that? Or would you thank her for her participation?
My friend, stop playing the victim. Stop blaming others for how they treat you. For knowingly or not, you continually teach people how to treat you. Take responsibility for your life and for how people treat you. You have a lot more control over your life and the way people treat you than your ego currently allows you to believe. The ego wants you to feel weak and think you’re a victim. It wants you to believe that the power lies outside of you. My friend, you are powerful. You teach people how to treat you. You can choose between judgment and forgiveness. You can choose what you will experience and what energies you deal with in your daily life.
My friend, it is not some external person or thing that you are seeking, but an internal desire within your heart and soul that is asking to be acknowledged, respected, expressed and extended into the world. Do not place your focus on person A, B or C. Instead, go deeper and focus on your own development. Make peace of mind, joy, being respectful and being respected the goals in your daily activities and relationships. If you do this, your external environment and the people in it will begin to fit and support your desires and dreams more closely.
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