Topics Include: Developing Peace of Mind and Clarity Dealing with a Confusing World

Ask the Author: Question and Response
 

I am a very confused girl. I am in 8th standard. I have many choices but I don't know which one to choose. I am good at tennis. I have even been chosen for tournament. But I want to join NCC. All my parents, teachers and friends are confusing me. And this always happens with me. I am not even sure what I will become in the future. Now what should I do?

- Radhika, Chhattisgarh, India

My friend ‘a confused girl’ is simply the result of a confused mind. The previous statement might at first sound like bad news, but here, through this website, we look to reverse the thinking of the world. For if the thinking of this world was actually accurate, would this planet and the people on it not live in a more peaceful and joyful place?

Confusion is not a result of what is happening in the outer world, but a result of how we deal with it within our inner world, our minds. This is good news, because if we had to fight against the hundreds of thousands of thoughts and illusions that bother us about the outer world, this world would be a very tiring and difficult place. And it is a tiring and difficult world for those who believe its thought system.

Simply figure out within your mind what brings you peace of mind and joy, then expand these thoughts into your outer world. And thus, we will work on bringing peace and clarity to your mind. The more peaceful your mind is, the more peacefully you will interact with the world. Try the following suggestions:

1 – Work on yourself first. Buy a journal, a book with empty pages for you to write in. Introduce space during your day when you can go to your room, close the door and just breathe, think and write in your journal. Write about what has bothered you during the day. Write about your reactions to these situations. If something happened that bothered you, write the situation down, then write why it bothered you and how you may have reacted more peacefully to that situation. When I meet or interact with anyone, even if I perceive a person to be acting in an unloving manner, I remind myself this is God’s child in front of me. If I find myself judging someone, I quickly catch myself thinking this way, and within my mind I say, “God, you have sent your son or daughter to me. This is your gift to me. Thank you God for the gift. I thank this person for his or her participation in my lesson plan.” This internal dialog helps bring clarity and peace to my interaction.

2 – Understand your choices. Place the thinking of the world aside. The ego will teach you that you have ‘many choices,’ thus confusing and frustrating you. The Godself would remind you that your only two choices in each and every situation are: what brings you happiness and peace and what doesn’t. Those are really your only two choices. In your journal, write down those things that bring you happiness and peace and those that don’t. Little by little, work towards choosing actions and reactions that bring more peace and happiness to your life, and work towards letting go of those actions and reactions that don’t. When you understand that in each and every moment you only have two choices, conflict and confusion are reduced.

3 – Respect the boundaries your parents set. Young people, like it or not, need boundaries. Boundaries are a healthy thing to have as you develop and strengthen your heart and mind. Thus listen to your parents, they have your best interest at heart. Be very open, honest and up front with them. Show them that you are trying to behave in a mature manner. Tell them if you’re feeling good or not doing certain activities. If they want you to try something, be mature about it, try it for a while and see how you truly feel about it. Write down how that activity is making you feel. Truly understand why you like or don’t like the activity. If after awhile you see the activity is not really for you, show your parents that you have really thought about it. Read them what you have written and ask them to support you in your decision. Have possible solutions to the issue already written down, and invite them to work with you on possible solutions. Creating an open and honest relationship with your parents, where you show maturity and respect, will help you develop a more positive relationship with them, that will in turn bring more peace and clarity to your life.

4 – Develop and strengthen your spirit. Develop inner strength. In the USA, there is a saying that I often use internally that says, “What would Jesus do?” Jesus is a guide I use in my daily decision making. Whatever your religion is, find the self-actualized person, entity or spirit in your religion that you have the most respect for, then have him, her or it be your personal guide in helping you make daily decisions. If nothing comes to mind, think about how the most spiritually enlightened person might behave in any situation you are dealing with. I sometimes ask myself, “What would Jesus have done in this situation?” and “How would Jesus see this person?” Acting and reacting from your highest moral point helps you to have peace with regard to whatever decisions you make.

5- Strengthen your body. After-school physical activities are very good for you. Be it tennis or anything else. Try different things and find out what it is you like to do. What brings you the most satisfaction and joy? As you see, I’m not saying find what your teachers or friends want you to do, I’m saying find out what you like and want to do. Also, research which foods are good for your body and which foods are not. Food has more of an effect on your mind and body than you might think. Analyze how you feel after eating certain foods. Eating healthy foods and exercising assists in bringing clarity to the mind.

6 – Become aware of the true power of forgiveness. Understand that you have the final say on whether you will judge and condemn a brother or sister - imprisoning and carrying them within your mind, or forgiving them and setting yourself free. Pay attention to what happens within you when you choose to judge a brother or sister. Pay attention to how this effort weighs you down as you’re forced to carry these actions within you. Equally so, pay attention to what happens within you when you choose to forgive a brother or sister. Pay attention to how this effort lightens your load, how it sets you free. Pay attention that no matter what your brothers and sisters do, you have the final say on how you choose to react to their actions. You have the final decision to judge or forgive them. You have the final choice to imprison them within your mind thus adding confusion and chaos to your life, or forgiving them thus releasing you from carrying the burden and setting yourself and them free.

7- Look to strengthen the mind. Research meditation techniques that help you learn how to focus the mind. Learn how powerful and useful the breath is in releasing stress. In any stressful situation, when you feel yourself tensing up, take a deep breath. Take the tension from your body into that deep breath and then blow this deep breath and tension out. Do this a few times, breathing out the tension. Then, for a few deep breaths, visualize God love and white light around you, and breathe this love and light in. This effort might just take 30 or so seconds, yet it can save you hours or even days or hurt, pain and regret.

8 – Include heart-centered prayers before going to bed at night. By heart-centered, I mean speak to your spiritual guide(s) not so much through learned prayers, but through your heart. Ask for assistance from them. Ask them to help you bring focus and clarity into your life. Offer them gratitude for their assistance. Be sure not to eat a few hours before going to bed. If you go to bed with a full stomach, your body will have to focus more on digestion than on healing and re-energizing. If you like, try this a couple of nights to truly understand it. If you go to bed with a full stomach, you’ll have a harder time falling asleep. You’ll twist and turn more during the night, and you’ll wake up with a full and sluggish feeling in the morning. If you go to bed with an empty stomach, you’ll sleep more comfortably and you’ll wake up with a lighter feeling and with more energy. Invite God, or whatever higher power you believe in, to hold you in His or Her arms while you sleep. Trust that you are loved and cared for, even while you sleep.

9 – Pay close attention to your internal dialog. How and what you say to yourself will either lift you up or bring you down. If you don’t learn how to love and respect yourself, then you will not require others to treat you in a loving and respectful manner. If through negative self-talk, you put yourself down, you will be more accepting of others putting you down. Positive internal dialog helps build your self esteem. Negative self talk breaks down your self esteem. If you hear yourself talking or thinking in a negative manner to yourself, stop yourself and say, “I will not mistreat myself. I deserve to be loving, compassionate and understanding with myself as I grow and develop into a more loving, understanding and compassionate being.”

10 – Be a positive example to others. Do not concern yourself with being a leader or a follower. Simply rediscover your source, your true foundation, your Godself, that all-encompassing love that in truth you and all your brothers and sisters are. You, and your brothers and sisters, are the physical manifestation of God on Earth. You are love and only love. Simply extend who you are into the world, and allow your family, teachers and friends to be touched and embraced by your truth. By focusing on yourself, on making yourself stronger and more balanced physically, mentally and spiritually you will bring clarity, peace of mind and joy not only to yourself but to all those you interact with.

My friend, choose to live in the present. Do not concern yourself with what you will become in the future. Focus on the now, the present moment, for it is in the now where your destiny is created. Find peace of mind, joy and fulfillment in the now, and your future will simply become an extension of this action. Peace of mind, joy and fulfillment are what you truly desire, and what your parents, teachers and friends desire for you. Work on yourself, on strengthening yourself physically, mentally and spiritually, and enjoy the clarity and peace that will come with your effort.

 

   

View larger images of front & back cover 
of the great spiritual / self development book You Have Chosen to Remember: A Journey from Perception to Knowledge, Peace of Mind and Joy by James Blanchard Cisneros.