Chapter 3: The Godself
You Have Chosen to Remember: A Journey of Self-Awareness, Peace of Mind and Joy by James Blanchard Cisneros.
In the next few sections of this chapter, I’ll take you on a “Cliff Notes” journey through events in my life that assisted me in remembering who I truly am.
I have very few early childhood memories, but my first “spiritual” experience was one that I will never forget. It was 1972; I was about five years old and living in Venezuela. Back then people believed that children should have their tonsils removed in order to prevent certain complications later in life. My mother and grandmother had been at odds about whether or not my brother and I should have such an operation. My grandmother believed it had to be done and my mother believed that the procedure was too dangerous. So one day, without my mother’s permission, my grandmother took my brother Roberto and me to the hospital.
In Venezuela, even today, anyone who has the resources prefers to leave the country for operations and medical procedures. Imagine what it must have been like in 1972. The doctors told my grandmother that they would have to be careful with Roberto because they believed him to be a bleeder. They said that I should be fine, that they expected no complications. So they operated on my brother first.
For Roberto, it was also a memorable experience. As he recalls even today, he woke up in the middle of the operation. All he could feel was absolute pain, and all he could see was adults dressed in white around the table. He could tell he had something in his mouth so he tried to take it out. As he tried to do this, the doctors went for his arms to hold them down. Somehow he got one of his arms loose (remember, this is happening in the middle of his operation) and he punched one of the doctors in the head. He was a pretty tough cookie for a four-year-old child. The doctors finally got a hold of him and again put him under. This time I’m sure they administered a little more anesthesia than before.
When it was my turn, I was put under. All I remember was looking in, as one does when looking into a store window, and seeing adults dressed in white standing around a single table. I remember it being very peaceful, no panic at all. I could see doctors working on someone. I was standing at the level of a child looking at the operation in progress. At this point, I could not see my face, nor did I feel that the body on the table was mine. Even today, I can easily visualize the image as if it happened yesterday. I don’t remember hearing anything, but that scene is still very real. So I’m standing outside my body without knowing it was my body, when one of the men put something over my chest, and suddenly, I see my body jumping inches off the table. Immediately, I was sucked right back into my body. I saw my body going up but as soon as it did, I was back in.
After returning home from the hospital, I remember seeing lights and colors on top of the heads and shoulders of people. Although it did not really concern or scare me, I told my mother what I was seeing. And as any concerned mother would do, she gently smiled, put me in her car, and immediately took me to the eye doctor. Of course, the eye doctor found nothing wrong with me, so off we went to see another eye doctor. After a second trip to an eye doctor, I decided that seeing these lights and colors wasn’t such a good idea. Little by little, I started seeing fewer colors and less light around people, until one day my eyesight returned to “normal.” At nights, I could remember walking around the house; yet, upon returning to bed, I could see that my body was still in bed. Let’s just say that after two very unpleasant visits to the eye doctors and one operation, I decided to keep these travels through my house without my physical body to myself. Eventually, these conscious recollections of my travels also stopped.
Today I know that the colors and lights around people are simply their auras – something all humans have, yet only a very small percentage of the population see. I also understand that the travels around the house without my physical body were simply OBEs (out-of-body experiences). Although today I can see people’s auras on a very limited basis, I have not had the need to work on improving that aspect of my vision. Nevertheless, I enjoy conscious or lucid OBEs very much and have learned much through the use of them. In Chapter 11, I discuss the usefulness OBEs have had in my remembering process and how you too can use these experiences to assist you in your growth.
I now see these experiences as the beginning of remembering my Godself. The separation from my physical body during the operation and the separation of my physical and spiritual body that occurred at my childhood home allowed me to understand that I was more than my physical body. Seeing people’s auras allowed me to understand that there was something more going on, and that adults weren’t “all-knowing.”
This material can be found in the book - You Have Chosen to Remember: A Journey of Self-Awareness, Peace of Mind and Joy.
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