Forgiveness – Healing A Rift In The Family After A Death

Ask the Author: Question & Response

My father passed away in May, and I am adrift from my siblings due to family conflict. My father suffered post-op complications and did not want life support.  I told my sister we cannot blame the hospital if no one was with him 4 days prior to his cardiac arrest for his wish not to be on life support.  Consequently, he was on life support 10 days before he passed away. I am having a very hard time with this situation. At this time, suffering with grief and hurt, I feel the need to distance myself from the family, so I can find myself without them controlling me.

– Pamela, Virginia, USA

Imagine yourself in a room with your father and Jesus (or any self-actualized being you choose). What would your father advise you to do regarding your family members? How would this self-actualized being advise you to act toward your fellow brothers and sisters? In times of confusion, look toward those who live in clarity, and ask them what they would do. Do what they would do until you find the peace and clarity within yourself to know that this is also what you would do.

You can not truly distance yourself from your family without first having peace, forgiveness and love as your travel companions. For knowingly or not, if you do not love, forgive and try your best to find peace with them, then you will carry your conflicting thoughts, stress and confusion wherever you go. You may go to the most isolated beach or the highest mountain, but if you do not do all you possibly can to offer forgiveness and obtain peace, then you will be weighed down throughout your journey without knowing why.

What has happened – has happened. Nothing can be done to change this. Trust God’s plan and you will find peace. Trust that whatever did happen, will, in the end, be what was in the best interests of everyone’s growth. When you return home to God, you will see how every piece of your life, and the lives of your family, fit perfectly into the puzzle. Trust God’s plan and you will find peace.

Meditation / Guided Visualization:

Note to readers about the following meditation: If you prefer, please exchange the name of Jesus with God or any self-actualized being you choose.

Sit in a comfortable chair, breathe deeply and calm yourself. Close your eyes and again imagine yourself in a room with your father and Jesus. Imagine your father taking one of your hands and Jesus the other. Visualize your hearts glowing in love, then join your hearts together in this light and fill the whole room with this light. Feel the absolute and incredible love being shared between you three. Then, imagine Jesus and your father asking you to invite into the room all those whom you have not forgiven, and all those who lie restless within your heart and mind. Invite them in one-by-one, and allow Jesus and your father to show you how much they love them. Then look into Jesus’ and your father’s faces and see them asking you to do the same. With your complete heart and soul, embrace your brothers and sisters. Embrace them as Jesus and your father would. Physically feel this embrace until you find complete love, peace and understanding in this action.

My friend, become your family’s hero. Do so and you will find you, your father, and your brothers and sisters basking once again in God’s glory. Seeing all of you once again united in love and peace will fill your father with so much joy that angels will literally sing all around him. In your dreams, you will again meet your father and see the life and joy radiating from his eyes and heart in gratitude for your courage. One day, you will all reunite with your father again. Do what you know to be right, so that when you all reunite, your whole family will do so with arms wide open and heads held high.

This Q&A Includes The Following Topics:
  • Death in the family.
  • Forgiving siblings.
  • Family rift.
  • General forgiveness strategy.
  • Meditation / Guided Visualization: Forgiveness meditation.

This question and response can be found in the book - There is Another Way: Overcoming Real World Challenges. If you enjoyed this Q&A, you'll really enjoy the book which is filled with inspiration and effective strategies for overcoming life's challenges. The book is due to come out in 2025. Click here to sign up for our newsletter so that you can be notified when it is ready. Thanks.

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