Forgiving Someone For Being Mean

Topics Include:
  • Forgiving someone for saying mean (or harsh) words.
  • General forgiveness strategies.

Ask the Author: Question & Response

How can I forgive someone who said such terrible words to me?

– Judy, New York, USA

My friend, someone who uses terrible words does so because he or she feels terrible inside. What would you do if a child comes to you and says she feels terrible? Would you judge and criticize her for feeling this way or would you hold and comfort her? Would you ignore her cry for help and healing or would you try and find any possible way to make her feel better? If a friend, son, daughter or other family member was feeling terrible would you not run every stop light to get them the help they needed?

When someone says something terrible, you have two choices: condemnation or compassion. The one you choose is the one you will feel, experience and carry with you. You have free will, thus the final choice is yours to make. You will be imprisoned by one choice and be set free by the other, but it is you (through free will) who holds the key. As entertainer Buddy Hacket once said, “Don’t carry a grudge. While you’re carrying the grudge, the other guy’s out dancing.” Forgive your brother and sister; release them and you shall set yourself free.

You probably have already tried the ego’s answer and what has that gotten you? Judgment, blame, stress-filled moments, sleepless nights, heavy heart and mind, confusion, chaos and regret. All these have been offered as solutions by the ego, and all these you may have in one way or another accepted. No longer accept what you desire not to have.

If you have trouble forgiving people, then ask God to forgive them for you. Every moment that they come into your mind, instead of allowing negative thoughts to pollute your mind, invite God to take their place. Then sit for a moment with God within you, and pray for that brother or sister. See and send them God’s forgiveness and love to surround them. Ask God to take you with Him in this endeavor and feel this same forgiveness, love and light surround you. Within this love and light, embrace your brother and feel God embracing you both. Offer your heart and soul to this effort once and you will want no other way.

My dear sister, your brother and sister are not defined by some words or actions they expressed when they were feeling terrible. They are God’s children, eternal souls on a journey toward remembering their truth. In a moment of confusion, they have come to you and asked for healing and help in the best way they knew how. Will you please answer their call?


This question and response can be found in the book - There is Another Way: Overcoming Real World Challenges. If you enjoyed this Q&A, you'll really enjoy the book which is filled with inspiration and effective strategies for overcoming life's challenges. The book is due to come out this March. Click here to sign up for our newsletter so that you can be notified when it is ready. Thanks.

  1. Amanda Poore
    Amanda Poore12-12-2012

    If you trust someone with hurtful things in your life and they choose to use that information against you. That isn’t someone who loves you.

  2. BIANCA WEST
    BIANCA WEST08-17-2016

    I love you. You are love and divinity.
    It is truth, when someone is mean to you it is because they hurt inside their heart.
    When you look at them with a pure heart you gift them love.
    They know not what they do because they run off of a program.
    The answer to the question is always love.
    And love is freedom.
    Love is light and attracts love and joy into your life. Share your love! Biamca

    • James Blanchard Cisneros
      James Blanchard Cisneros08-18-2016

      Thank you Bianca for your kind words, for your comment and for being a member of our community. Peace. JBC

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