Choosing Our Parents & Recommended Books

Ask the Author: Question & Response

I’m just finishing “You Have Chosen to Remember.” It is a great read – very simple to understand, lots of great tips. I’ve been reading “A Course in Miracles” for about 2 years. I’m getting there with it. I have a question about choosing our parents before we are born. Mine were a bit abusive. Was I supposed to learn how to forgive and that is why I chose them? I also married twice and both wives were abusive. I have completely forgiven all with no reservations, but this lesson stuff is a new thought process for me – but I find it very interesting. Can you recommend any other books on the lesson stuff that goes into more details? I have read “The Disappearance of the Universe,” a lot of Wayne Dyer, Eckhart Tolle, etc. I’m trying to move away from my ego-self but on a more continuous level. Right now, I’m up and down with this stuff. I’m purchasing a few more copies of your book for friends. I’ve started a few friends on a new journey with this stuff with really positive results. I was living in Florida for many years, had a couple of strokes at age 45, and I’m back in Jersey. But because of it all, I found out about forgiveness quicker than I probably would have, if at all. So your book was greatly enjoyed and is now home in my collection. I wish you great success and peace in all you do. Thank you.

– Dan, New Jersey, USA

Thank you for your kind compliments.

In the following order, and I have a reason for this, I highly recommend these books:

  • Many Lives, Many Masters by Dr. Brian Weiss
  • Journey of Souls by Michael Newton, PH.D
  • Destiny of Souls by Michael Newton, PH.D
  • Living with Joy by Sanaya Roman
  • Spiritual Growth by Sanaya Roman

All of these books are great reads, very enjoyable, entertaining and filled with wisdom. By the way, I have not read The Disappearance of the Universe, but you’re the second person to mention this book to me in the last few days, so I am going to Amazon to purchase it as soon as I send you this response. Thanks for the reminder!

The first three books will help you remember the part you played in choosing your parents. There will come a day when you will remember the specific reasons you had for choosing them. There will come a day when gratitude and love will be your only response to your parents for their participation, and to yourself for choosing them. I was very much in the same boat with my grandmother (who was my father figure growing up) as you were with your parents. I understand how you feel. I can’t begin to express the number of lessons I learned from my grandmother’s behavior toward us. I learned who I did not want to be from my grandmother. I learned how I did not want to treat people from my grandmother. I learned how to forgive by learning to forgive my grandmother. From my grandmother’s disciplining and physical punishment, I learned that I would never raise my hand in anger to any other human. I learned how to be loving to people who are in emotional pain and spiritual distress because that’s the space my grandmother was in. Who I now am and how I choose to act toward others is in large part because of my experiences and interactions with my grandmother. I could go on and on, truly, but I feel you get the point. I can never in a million years offer enough gratitude, love and compassion to my grandmother. Today, I kneel down, bless and thank God for my grandmother.

Books four and five on the list will assist you in grounding these thoughts and applying them into your daily experiences. It is important with these five books, as it is with mine, to slowly and carefully go through them, and write down what you think you’re getting from them. Then create your own personal daily exercises with the information provided. If, after you read a part, a light bulb turns on or the hairs stand up on your arms, ask yourself how the material you are reading can be applied in your everyday life. Feel free to write notes in your books, journal ideas that are interesting to you, and find ways to apply this information in your everyday life. Find ways to replace judgment with compassion, anger with understanding, sadness with gratitude, and fear with faith. Become more aware of the moment. Become more aware of patterns you’re repeating, for there are lessons to be learned from them. Figure out why you chose abusive parents, as well as two abusive wives. Work on loving and respecting yourself every day, moment by moment. The more you do this, the more you will attract loving and respectful friends and partners. You are God’s son, my friend. Your Divine Father loves and respects you unconditionally. He created you in His image. The truth that is within you is all loving, respectful, kind, generous and compassionate. When you express these emotions and energies toward yourself and your brothers and sisters, you are allowing God to flow through you. You are allowing your truth to be seen, heard, experienced and felt.

During your day, if a lost brother judges and criticizes you or others, choose not to play that game any longer. When these opportunities arise, challenge yourself to allow God to flow through you. The more you do this, the easier and more natural it will become. Then one day, you will no longer need to challenge yourself, for you will have remembered your natural flow. When you do, you will want no other way. Remember, when these opportunities arise, your brother is simply assisting you in getting to where you truly desire to be! Would you not offer gratitude to someone who is helping you get to where you want to be? Would you not offer God thanks for sending you a reminder of where you truly desire to go and who you truly desire to be? See your brothers, sisters, parents and even so-called strangers as gifts being offered to you. My friend, I know the day is coming soon when you will recognize that this is so. I know there will come a day when you will see the gift that is being presented to you in every moment. Yes, my friend, that day is coming. That day is coming soon.

This Q&A Includes The Following Topics:
  • Recommended books.
  • Choosing our parents.

This question and response can be found in the book - There is Another Way: Overcoming Real World Challenges. If you enjoyed this Q&A, you'll really enjoy the book which is filled with inspiration and effective strategies for overcoming life's challenges. The book is due to come out in 2025. Click here to sign up for our newsletter so that you can be notified when it is ready. Thanks.

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