Having a Very Challenging Life

Ask the Author: Question & Response

I have had a horrible life since I was born. I think I was born to suffer in every way possible. I think my mom didn’t want us kids. She was never around and rarely did we have a babysitter or food. When we did have babysitters they were ones who were drunks, who molested us and worse. I started taking care of three sisters and one brother by myself at age 7 until the welfare agency took us all away in 1970 when I was ten. I have two sisters and a brother, I have not seen for 35 years now. Somehow I ended back with my mother when I was 13, only to find out that she was pregnant and needed a babysitter again, not because she wanted me. But I still loved her no matter what. But I had to get away from her, so I married an alcoholic husband who beat me for six years. I finally left him because of the three beautiful girls we had. There’s a lot more, but long story short, my two oldest daughters inherited bipolar from their father. My mother was murdered in 1993 by her husband who did not go to jail. My oldest daughter went to prison in 2002 and is still there. My 25 year old daughter was killed by a drunk driver 9-18-03 who never went to jail because he is a cop. God hates me. He really does and I don’t know why. I need help. I’ve had custody of three of my grand-babies since they were born and they’re bipolar. I love them so much. If anything happened to them I would die. Please tell me why God hates me? Thank you.

– Maria, USA

My dear friend, how has your belief that God hates you actually worked for you? Is this belief helping or bringing peace into your life or the lives of your grand-babies? And if it is not, why do you continue to support this thought system? It’s a form of self-punishment to support a belief system that doesn’t do anything positive for you. Haven’t you punished yourself with your own thoughts long enough? Would you want your grand-babies to grow up learning and supporting this painful and self-destructive belief system? Or do you want them to grow up with a thought system that supports their peaceful and joyful growth and development?

My friend, imagine if you were God, and you gifted mankind with free will, the right to choose their own way. If you saw some lost humans mistreating their children, would you send someone with no idea how to help, and with no idea what these children are feeling? Or would you send someone with the experience needed to truly understand what these children are going through? Wouldn’t an adult who was mistreated as a child be a wiser and more understanding sounding board and guide to children who are now going through such a situation?

My friend, imagine if you were God, and you gifted mankind with free will, the right to choose their own way. If you saw some lost humans molesting children. Would you send someone with no idea of what these children are going through? Or would you send someone who understood how these molested children truly felt, someone who had gone through what they are going through, someone who could help them better deal with their misery, hurt, pain and grief?

My friend, imagine if you were God and you gifted mankind with free will, the right to choose their own way. If you saw some lost humans creating a welfare system that took children from their families and separated brothers from sisters, would you send someone who knew how it felt to be separated from family members to help, calm, reassure and stabilize those children who are now going through such a confusing and destabilizing process?

My friend, imagine if you were God, and you gifted mankind with free will, the right to choose their own way. If you saw some lost humans, some alcoholic men abusing and beating their wives, who would you send to help these women? Would you send someone with no experience with what these women are going through, with no experience of how these women actually feel? Or would you send someone who can look into their eyes and tell them: “I understand you. I have walked where you are walking. There is a light at the end of this tunnel.” Wouldn’t these abused women feel more comfortable with, and comforted by, a person who has gone through what they are going through?

My friend, imagine if you were God, and you gifted mankind with free will, the right to choose their own way. Then you saw your children in deep hurt and pain dealing with murdered or absent parents. Would you send someone with no experience with murdered or absent family members to help them? Or would you send someone who has cried similar tears, walked a similar path, and can look into their sad, troubled eyes and reassure them that everything will be all right, that this too can be overcome?

My friend, imagine if you were God, and you gifted mankind with free will, the right to choose their own way. Then you saw some of your children dealing with emotional or mood disorders such as bipolar disorder. Who would you send to assist them? Would you send someone whom you did not trust and love to guide them? Or would you send a trustworthy and experienced soul to lead your children to a more peaceful, balanced and joyful place?

My dear friend, you are God’s choice. He has chosen you to help heal and bring comfort and peace to women and children who are now dealing with mistreatment, confusion, hurt and pain. As you assist these women and children, the parts within you that are hurt and wounded also begin to heal. My friend, you have the experience to help these souls deal with and survive their current circumstances. My friend, as rough and tough as your journey has been, you have survived it. Many women and children are on their knees praying right now for God to help them survive what you have survived. You are the physical manifestation of the prayers of many of these women and children. Heed their call, and as you do, you will begin to heal yourself. For in their stories, you will remember your own, and you will become the light at the end of the tunnel that they can not yet see.

If your three grand-babies needed assistance, would you send someone you disliked, did not trust, or even hated to take care of them? Or would you send them the wisest, most caring, loving, trustworthy and most experienced soul you could find to take care of them? Do you not think that God is at least as wise as you are?

This Q&A Includes The Following Topics:

Having a very challenging life.. Feeling as if God hates you.

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