Ask the Author: Question & Response
Right now, I am unemployed and trying not to get evicted. It seems like the harder I pray, the more doors are closing in my face. I think maybe it is the family drama, and am I holding on to unforgiveness and blocking my blessings. So I decided to text my sister and ask for forgiveness and to tell her I forgive her. I googled forgiveness and found this site. I was blessed by this article and I will send in a donation when I get back on my feet. I have five older sisters and they all need to read this article and the book. I would like your permission to copy this article and share it with them. They are holding onto some grudges much stronger than I am against the sister that started this. Pray for my family – six sisters, two brothers and an 86 year old loving mom with Alzheimer’s who needs her family to be whole not divided. Thank you for your kindness.
– Brenda, Tennessee, USA
You and your brothers and sisters are God’s creations. God’s creations have two possible expressions: love or a call for love. And the best way to respond to either of these expressions is love.
You and your brothers and sisters were created by love. Thus your foundation, the truth of who you are, is love. Some of love’s expressions are forgiveness, joy, peace, trust, compassion, charity, respect and kindness. When we are allowing them to flow through us, we experience clarity, gratitude, balance and fulfillment. These are qualities of our true selves, our Godselves.
If we react in any way other than love, we are buying into the illusion the ego-self is selling. The ego-self is a limited belief system within the mind. The more time, energy and focus we place on it, the greater the influence it has in our lives. Each individual molds and creates an ego-self. When we express anger, judgment, condemnation, stress or any other “negative” emotion, we become unbalanced, confused, chaotic, and experience emptiness and regret. None of these feelings and thoughts are part of the truth in us. They are creations of the ego. They are false. They are illusions we have taught ourselves are real, and thus unconsciously defend because we are their creators. The ego is fed and kept alive through acts of judgment. Through judgment, we attack others for not accepting our illusionary thinking as truth. And other people are doing the same thing every time they judge us.
The ego’s world teaches that God is judgmental. Thus, in this illusionary world, there is a great need for forgiveness. The illusionary world has taught us that God can condemn, and since we were created in “God’s image,” then we can too. However, the ego has no true knowledge of what God’s image is, so it makes up different versions of God, hoping to catch us in its webs. The ego rationalizes that if God has the right to judge, then we have every right to judge too. In the ego’s world, our confusion and sense of disconnection, the sense that what is natural and true in us is somehow being disturbed and distorted, results from this error. When using judgment, we may not recognize that the ego’s teaching is disturbed and distorted. Yet for now, most of us can acknowledge that there is something not right with it, that there is some kind of unbalanced state created within us by the ego’s demands.
God does not have use for forgiveness because God does not judge. There must be judgment before there is a need for forgiveness. The ego uses judgment as one of its primary illusions to separate us from our Source and from our brothers and sisters. In dreams, we create the scenarios we experience, and we believe what we see is real, even though our eyes are closed. Once we awaken and express God through us, we also have no use for judgment or forgiveness because we simply react to our brothers and sisters as God does – with love.
Our brothers and sisters are not their actions. They are not some frozen moment in time that we choose to disturb and darken the present moment with. Our brothers and sisters are God’s perfect creations traveling through an illusion of their own making. They are God’s creations. There is no condemnation in God. Therefore, if we choose to condemn, we become unbalanced because it is unnatural for us to do so. We are love and love does not condemn. God’s creations are made of and gifted with love and forgiveness. When we choose love and forgiveness, we realign ourselves with the truth in us. The truth in us brings about a state of peace. When we are upset, we are replacing reality with illusions of our own creation. Illusions are nothing. Thus when we are upset, we are upset because of nothing. So when we judge our brothers and sisters, we trade our love of them for nothing. Regardless of how right we believe ourselves to be, we wonder why we do not feel at peace with what we have done.
When we use the past to interpret the present, we become frustrated by what we see and experience because we are trying to extend our past judgments into the present moment, which, in truth, is free from judgments. By doing so, we miss what is really going on in the now, and end up confused and frustrated. We often interact with our brothers and sisters through this incomprehensible place. We judge each other as guilty for not understanding the incomprehensible in each of us. We try to justify our reactions to our brothers and sisters, but naturally find no internal justice, which then exacerbates our aggravation. Because the present moment is free from judgment, it is not possible to judge a brother or sister without the past. We are often preoccupied with the past, and this creates blocks to truly understanding the present. My friend, give away the past and do so knowing you are giving away nothing and receiving everything in return.
When we are truly in the present moment, our real thoughts are those we think with God. When we are seeing our brothers and sisters with innocence, we feel balanced and at peace. When we get upset, we deal with the present by replacing it with the past, and thus are rarely upset for the reasons we think we are. We are often trying to make the untrue – true. Our egos make all things which differ from its untruths our adversaries. This helps us justify our frustration, anger and attacks toward our brothers and sisters. From this, comes the belief that we have the right to criticize and judge our brothers and sisters. We defend our illusionary thoughts as real and true, even though they only hurt and punish us and our brothers and sisters. What upsets us is not what our brothers and sisters say or do. What upsets us is the frustration we are feeling by trying to deal with the present through the past. Every time we judge our brothers and sisters, we are really judging ourselves for not being able to extract truth from an untruth. Thus we project our frustrations onto your brothers and sisters through the act of judgment. We think this will somehow relieve us from the pain we feel and carry inside, but it is only an illusionary sense of relief. Thus we receive no true lasting peace of mind or joy from the action.
Why does the ego make it seem harder to say I love than I hate? Or I forgive instead of I judge? The ego revels in power and control. The ego teaches many of us to associate love and forgiveness with weakness, and judgment and hate with power and control. This is true in the ego’s world, but false in reality. In reality, forgiveness is much more powerful than judgment. One honest moment of forgiveness can end a lifetime of carrying that judgment and pain. This is the true, real power and strength of forgiveness. Forgiveness undoes what fear has produced. Light will always disperse darkness.
We can crucify God’s creations through our acts of judgment, or set them and ourselves free through our acts of forgiveness. That is the choice that is presented to us. In God’s world, pure love and forgiveness flow through us and that memory still lies within us. In the ego’s world, we secretly and silently long for the opportunity to love and forgive our brothers and sisters. The truth within us longs to be extended and expressed through us. We can not exempt anyone from forgiveness, or we will be exempting ourselves from the state of peace.
Our function in this world is healing. Every time the ego calls for judgment, at the same time, love is calling for help and healing. Help and healing are our natural responses. Judgment is our learned, programmed response.
My friend, when your ego demands judgment, ask God to assist you in releasing yourself from the ego’s thought system. Leave behind every thought of judgment and every thought of guilt you have ever made up. For what true need do you have for guilt and judgment? Where have these thoughts and emotions ever taken you? No longer choose to carry that which does not belong to you, that which is not part of your true essence. Let go of the heavy burden that the ego demands you carry, and no longer be a slave to its commands.
Judgment creates a cloud of guilt that obscures the truth in you and your brothers and sisters. Reach for the light, the truth within you, to escape from this darkness. No longer let the past cast a shadow over your present. Whenever judgment enters your mind, you lose touch with what you truly desire to experience. You see guilt where God sees innocence, and still you question why what you are doing is not working for you. Will you choose to be happy or right? Accept God’s gift and exchange your judgment for the peace of God. Judgment rewards your loyalty to it with pain and regret. No longer kneel at the altar of judgment. How much more time apart from your brothers and sisters will you sacrifice at its altar? Look deeply into the mirror and say to yourself: “Judgment is not the way God intended for me to relate to and interact with my brothers and sisters. God, please remind me of the love I have for them by sharing with me the love You have for me. God, let Your love wash away my fears. God, I now allow Your forgiveness to replace my judgment, Your love to replace my anger.” Then gift your light to all those who wander around lost and confused in the darkness of their own creation. Take your brothers’ and sisters’ hands, look into their eyes, and remind them of the peace that is in them.
God’s creations are guiltless. Remind your brothers and sisters of their innocence. Remind them that an error is a call for help and healing, not for judgment, guilt, control and regret. What you remind them of, you will be reinforcing within yourself. Peace will come to those who choose to see and remind others of peace. No one who condemns a brother or sister will see himself as guiltless. Look through the cloud of guilt with your forgiving eyes, and watch it melt away. Freedom from pain and regret will be yours when you learn to exchange innocence for guilt, and truth for illusions.
Your will and God’s will are one. Thus what God wills for your brothers and sisters is what, in truth, you desire for them. Judgment will always yield to forgiveness when it is brought to God. Do not delay in your return to God. To the healed mind, compassion and forgiveness are the responses to errors. No longer hide behind the dark and rusty doors of judgment and regret. For your life and the world you see will reflect Heaven or Hell, depending on what thoughts you allow and support as real within your mind.
There are no neutral thoughts because all thoughts have power. The way you see and participate in the world is a result of your thoughts. Your real thoughts lead you to the world God has prepared for you. Your illusionary thoughts lead you to the world that the ego is trying to sell you. Your real thoughts unite you with your brothers and sisters. Your false thoughts separate you from them. Understand the road you’re on is simply a physical manifestation of your state of mind. Thus when you know your state of mind and that it can change, you can acknowledge that the way you see and participate in the world can also change.
Judgment is but a thought built on and of sand. And thus, like all illusions, judgment will not stand the test of time. Regardless of how complex and intricate your sand castle is, one true wave of forgiveness will dissolve it back into the sands from where it was first created. All judgments, regardless of their perceived complexity and back story, are as unstable as beach sand. The child within you may have given your sand castle many dimensions, strengths and powers. Yet as soon as you turn your back on it, it will begin to dissolve and disappear in the ocean of truth. You have played long enough in the world of illusion. God is now lovingly calling you home.
Return to God’s loving, safe and forgiving arms and feel His strong, enduring and everlasting presence flowing through you. Return to that from which you were created and feel your eternal truth and innocence once again flowing through you to all you see. Reflect this truth back to your brothers and sisters. You and your brothers and sisters were created from the eternal, and a thousand oceans could never wash away the innocence in you. Replace judgment with gratitude. Be grateful to your brothers and sisters for participating in your life and allowing you the opportunity to reawaken the truth in you.
My sister, the love you have for God’s sons and daughters is there as a reminder of the love God has for you. Could you ever see yourself judging your son or daughter as guilty for playing with sand? Can you then begin to conceptualize how God also has no need or desire for judgment? God looks at His sons and daughters with absolute love and adoration. My dear sister, will you not join me in His thinking? For if you do, be it for a holy instant in time, you will never want another way. This moment, this present, this gift, is all God asks us to open and accept in order to experience His endless love for us, and in turn, our eternal love for each other. Through God, experience your eternal love for all your brothers and sisters regardless of how they choose to play in the sand.
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