Forgiving A Family Member & General Forgiveness Strategies

Ask the Author: Question & Response

I am still bitter and angry over an argument that happened in 2003 between me and my adult nephew who drove me out of his mother’s house. I even cursed him for rendering me homeless and depressed. But with God’s grace, I found a crisis center shelter where I lived for a few months. While I was there, I found a job and eventually made enough money to get a place of my own. In the process, I made many new friends, experienced different things and am more sympathetic to people in need. In a way, being driven out of his house was a blessing. I am a more independent person than before. But how do I get rid of this anger and bitterness that I feel toward my nephew?

– Tina, Singapore

My friend, I will share a thought that is foreign to many people in this world: nothing happens to you that is not in your best interest. If you were to allow the memory of this thought to enter your heart and soul, distress, anger and bitterness would disappear.

My dear friend, when it comes to your nephew, do the opposite of what has not worked for you. If you think of him and bitter, angry thoughts enter and pollute your heart and mind, then choose not to play the ego’s game any longer. For the ego’s solution to bitterness and anger is more bitterness and anger. The ego’s solutions seem sane only in an insane world.

Stand in front of a mirror, look deep into your eyes, and say: “I will no longer support anger and bitterness as solutions in my life. I will no longer carry within, sustain and maintain these energies. God, today, right now, I release them to you. Let them dissolve in your loving light. God, today, right now, with all my heart and soul, I release my nephew’s actions to you. Through you, help me forgive him. God, let me now see him as You do.” Say this as many times as you need to. Let these words come from your heart and allow them to bathe your soul.

Now, every time you think of your nephew, if thoughts of anger and bitterness pop up, stop them. Replace them with a prayer of love and forgiveness for him. Yes, from now on, instead of playing the ego’s insane game, remember what you truly desire: peace of mind and joy in your life. By offering them to your nephew, you will experience them within. For you and your nephew are one, and what you do or think of him, you will experience yourself.

My friend, would you hold bitterness toward someone who was a part of a process that helped you make many new friends, experience different things, become more sympathetic to people in need, and become a more independent person than before? Is this a person who deserves to be cursed, or is this a person who deserves to be thanked?

As A Course in Miracles states: “It is as sure that those who hold grievances will suffer guilt, as it is certain that those who forgive will find peace.” My dear sister, forgive your nephew’s error and you shall set yourself free.

This Q&A Includes The Following Topics:
  • Forgiving a relative.
  • General forgiveness strategies.
  • Transforming anger to peace.


This question and response can be found in the book - There is Another Way: Overcoming Real World Challenges. If you enjoyed this Q&A, you'll really enjoy the book which is filled with inspiration and effective strategies for overcoming life's challenges. The book is due to come out in 2025. Click here to sign up for our newsletter so that you can be notified when it is ready. Thanks.

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Comments (1)

I am currently seperated from my husband and the hurt I have caused him the last 4 years has resulted in our seperation. We have only been married for 8 months at this time. Because of the immense amount of hurt I caused to my husband, my mother in law with reason doesn’t like me at all. I am trying to mend all relationships involved and I’m unaware as to go about this. I am currently working on an apology letter to her but not sure what else to do..any help would be great!

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