Ask the Author: Question & Response
I am a 48 year old woman. My life is in turmoil, facing a divorce I do not want. Facing regret over many horrible mistakes I made. I am filled with fears and sadness. I feel desperate and do not want to lose my husband. I must face reality and am making a huge effort to place my faith in God and my Christian beliefs. I decided to go on the internet this morning desperately looking for something to help me develop strength and courage. Will your book “You Have Chosen to Remember” help me develop faith in God and calm my fears regardless of my life circumstances? Thank you.
– Roseanne, USA
My friend, all people, places and things offer you the opportunity to develop greater faith in God and calm your fears regarding your current circumstances. All people, places and things have been gifted to you by God. Yet, it is your free will that allows you to do what you want with them, to perceive them as you wish, and to react to them as you desire. If you can understand that the power to react to your life is yours, and yours alone, then you have won half the battle. And if winning half the battle is more than you have perceived yourself to have done thus far, then you have come quite far today.
My friend, take care of the moment and the rest will take care of itself. Try doing something you may have never done before. Instead of choosing to react to your current circumstances with turmoil, fear, sadness and desperation – try offering gratitude for them. You have already tried it the ego’s way and where has that gotten you? Invite Christ (or God or any enlightened being you choose) into your every moment, and see the moment as He would have you see it. When the ego demands judgment, choose not to follow its direction. Instead, offer forgiveness. Where you once might have reacted with turmoil, now offer gratitude for the opportunity to learn a more peaceful way of relating to the situation. Where you once might have experienced fear, now see the situation as a means to remember who stands with you and laugh the fear away. Where you once saw desperation, now sit in silence with closed eyes and offer it all to God. He will gladly take it from you. See it dissolving in His light, then invite His light to fill all those areas where desperation was once entombed. For my friend, the more moments you spend with Christ and God in gratitude, laughter and trust, the less time you will spend in turmoil, fear, sadness and desperation. They may still be similar situations, but you now know you have a choice of how to react.
Trust God. Give Him 100 percent of your faith and then allow the chips to fall where they may. Spend a little more time with God (or Christ or any enlightened being you choose), just the two of you. Do not be afraid of Him or see yourself as undeserving of His time. Turn your phone off and pray from your heart. Do not attach yourself to any particular outcome. Simply ask God for greater peace of mind and joy in your life. Offer Him all you do not want, and feel it dissolve in His light. Ask God to carry your burdens and He gladly will. Feel God embracing you and understand that God is not with you because you have called for Him, He is with you because He has never left you.
My friend, you can choose to have faith in your ego’s plan for your life or in God’s plan for your life. Understand that when you choose to have faith in your ego’s plan for your life – sadness, fear, desperation, stress and/or regret will be the results. When you choose to have faith in God’s plan for your life – peace of mind, forgiveness, understanding and/or joy will be the results. You have free will, thus the choice is up to you. When the Bible says, “Thy will be done,” it is equally saying may your highest will be done. They are one and the same. God’s will for your life is your highest will for your life. A state of peace is the result of this realization. When, in the moment, you choose love over hate, forgiveness over judgment, and trust over worry – you are following God’s will, your highest will.
When you feel sad, do something that will help someone feel happy. When you feel lonely, do something to help someone feel less alone. When you are fearful, comfort someone who needs to be comforted. When you feel desperate, look to bring peace into someone else’s life. When you feel sad, find something to do that will bring happiness to someone else’s life. For my friend, you, your brothers and your sisters are all one and the same. As you remember that your brothers and sisters are worthy of these actions, you will also be subconsciously reminding yourself that you too are worthy of them.
My friend, you have a wonderful life ahead of you. The fog might be too thick for you to see and acknowledge this now, but it is so. Many people will come to assist you, and you, in turn, will help many others in need. Keep strengthening your own self from the inside out, and as you do, you will strengthen those around you. My friend, one day soon, you will stand up and acknowledge your strength and courage, and this realization and its manifestation will light the path for many people that you do not yet know.
My sister, you indeed have a wonderful life ahead of you.
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I have also been through a separation this year and the pain was unbearable exactly how you have described it, but the words are also true every one! Please read each sentence slowly I know its hard when your hurting and sometimes you cant even see but this paragraph that was written for you should be one that all people going through this gets to read. HE is the only way, let go and let God, be broken at his feet and hand over everything to him and talk to him listen in your car on your computer dont let the world in!! One day you will be so excited to see what he has planned for you! Im praying for you.
I need lots of prayer as well. I do not want a divorce and never wanted a separation. I trusted my husband that he would live with me after we got married, but it never happened. We have been married for almost 2 years now and we still are living in two separate homes. I have done everything I knew how to do. I have poured out my heart, my feelings, prayed, encouraged. Because of the situation we have had many arguments and sometimes the arguments got really bad because I could never understand why we would argue about a simple thing as living together. I know God does not want me to live in pain and mistreated constantly. So now I am ready to let go and let God. I do have some fears and I don’t understand why this is happening to me. The more I try to love him it seems the worse it gets. The more I pray and tell him how I feel the worse it gets. So I don’t know nothing else to do. I Fear that he will leave me for good now that I have made this decision, but I feel that I have no other choice but to make this decision. I am ready to put my marriage in God’s hand and go on with my life. I ask you to pray for me to allow God to be big in my life.